Tuesday, March 5, 2019

March: New Music

Ariana Grande:
in my head (actual story of my life like Ari you been reading my journal?)

benny blanco, Selena Gomez, J Balvin, Tainy

Billie Eilish

Jonas Brothers

Phantogram

Zara Larsson 

Love, 
A.

Letting Go Of Anger

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” I’m not sure who said this or if it’s even a legitimate quote with an origin… but I do know that it’s something that many need to remember when it comes to interactions with other people.

I often wonder why it’s so easy to be angry with someone. I wonder why it’s easier to place the blame and write them off in our minds. Close the door and lock it, never to see them again. They make one mistake and then that’s it. It’s over and done. Every redeeming quality about them thrown out and paid no attention to. To me, that says more about the society that we live in than the individual.  

Once upon a time, I had a friend who would look up this one girl on social media with the sole intention of making fun of what she had going on in her life. It was a difficult situation, they had been friends for a super long time and it had ended roughly. Obviously my friend at the time didn’t take the ending too well. When the girl blocked her on her personal account she started making fake ones, all with the sole purpose to be able to keep tabs on her. 

I would get screen shots at random points making fun of Instagram pictures and captions. Snarky remarks at lifetime achievements or posts on Tumblr. At first I would laugh with her. The girl and I were never really friends, but we did have some rough patches so I would be like, ‘What the heck… I’ll join in on the laughter’. 

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Why I Deleted (most of) My Social Medias

A couple days ago (maybe a couple weeks ago depending on when this gets around to being posted) I made the decision to delete my Facebook and Twitter accounts. The only account I kept was Instagram since that’s the platform I get all my astrology information on (lol) as well as I just really enjoy photography. Other than that I'm off the grid. I always thought people without socials were weird. Like, everyone’s on social media why do you have to be different? But at the start of 2019 I really debated what kind of life I wanted to lead. And it came to my attention that social media might be a major player for some lingering unhappiness in my life.

I think it’s safe to say that socials are a completely different thing than they were 10 years ago. When I first joined most of them I was literally in 6thgrade. I was always the kid that wanted all the different accounts. Like really, there was no point in having them but I wanted them. To be honest I might’ve been in 4thor 5thgrade when I signed up for Myspace, which was my very first social account (and honestly that account still might be somewhere because I don’t think I ever deleted?). And thinking back it’s like—what is the point of that?

Facebook was mostly used for keeping up with my older sister who was away at college. It was for posting about ‘top friends’ from school and used for letting the world know you were going to be at the mall if anyone wanted to hang out.

When I signed up for Twitter it was to follow all my favorite Disney Channel stars and Taylor Swift. I think I followed one actual friend for a solid two years. I signed up for Tumblr at the very beginning of it but really had no idea how to use it until I went to college. 

But ten years has changed a lot. For starters, Facebook is now filled with posts made for the sole purpose of getting a rise out of other users. What I don't understand about this is why people think reposting offensive articles is going to help them get their point across? I also don't understand why people think it's necessary to start arguments in the comments with people they have never met. It's just a lot of negativity that is not bringing forth positive change. Not to mention Facebook is one of the largest holders of ‘fake news' articles that are written in complete satire. But the everyday user isn’t aware of that or even has the mind to check if what they're sharing is real and consequently reposts jokes as real news, which annoys me to an insane degree.

Twitter is now filled with ‘cancel culture’ which I find extremely offensive and dangerous to mental health. This is also the one that I am extremely confused by to tell the truth. I remember when social media first came out and cyber bullying was such a hot topic. People were so quick to call someone out for bringing negativity into an online space. Now, they're applauded for it by favorites and retweets. It doesn't make sense to me.

Maybe I'm being too sensitive, but I was always raised with the morals of fighting negativity with more negativity isn't going to fix anything. Actually, Martin Luther King Jr. had a great quote for this, "Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars."

Personal problems I was having with social media was that it was low-key messing with my mental health and daily routine. I would always be on it. Like always. Mostly to fill my boredom but also for the reasons that all of us know about but don’t really talk about too much.

I tell people that I’m a Scorpio mind that’s been trained with Journalism skills. Meaning I have the skills and drive to find out everything about everyone that is in my life past, present, even potentially future. Like, that gaming video you made with your friends and posted on YouTube when you were in middle school – seen it. That award you got for playing in that hockey tournament freshman year of high school – good job dude, proud of you. 

But there is a lot of negative things about finding information out about people through social media. #1 being that everything someone posts about themselves is tailored specifically to what they want you to see. So honestly, what you’re seeing and learning isn’t even the true person or an accurate reflection of whats going on in their life. It’s always someone’s highlight real. 

Which brings me to #2 which is you will probably see something that will hurt you. Mostly because you don't have the means to understand it. When it comes to manifesting good things into your life you need to be on a vibration that is already way, way up. Social media is the quickest way to sabotage that.

2019 is going to be a beautiful year. More than anything I want to lead a life that makes me so happy I forget to check my phone. There's a freedom in living in the moment and for only you without the pressure to post online.

There are plenty of news apps to keep up with what’s going on in the world without the opinions and negativity. Family members and people that you’re friends with on socials should have your number. If people care about you, they’ll reach out.

To be honest the only things I'll miss are the memes and tweeting song lyrics in real time (lol for sure my friends on twitter will not miss me doing that sorry not sorry) but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for happiness. I got to the point where I couldn’t remember what my life was like before I spent the majority of the day glued to my phone looking through different feeds. And that doesn’t really seem like a fulfilled life does it?

Love,
A.

Monday, January 21, 2019

January 2019: New Music Monday

This was something that I used to do every month before my little hiatus. I literally love music so much and honestly it's such a tool to put you in a great mood. I'm not sure if every song on here will put you in a 'good' mood per se but sometimes moody music is what we need to heal (see my entire feel it playlist on Spotify which was made for the sole purpose of having music to cry to).

If you click the category link on the right that says music you'll get directed to all my past posts like this.

Here's some songs that I've been obsessed with lately:

Wow. - Post Malone (tbh my fav Post song which is saying a lot bc literally adore him)
Lost in the Fire - Gesaffelstein & The Weeknd
White Noise - Ella Vos
Be My Mistake - The 1975 (Matty Healy's lyrics kill me)
Coffee - Miguel 

Love, 
A. 
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