Letting Go Of Anger

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” I’m not sure who said this or if it’s even a legitimate quote with an origin… but I do know that it’s something that many need to remember when it comes to interactions with other people.

I often wonder why it’s so easy to be angry with someone. I wonder why it’s easier to place the blame and write them off in our minds. Close the door and lock it, never to see them again. They make one mistake and then that’s it. It’s over and done. Every redeeming quality about them thrown out and paid no attention to. To me, that says more about the society that we live in than the individual.  

Once upon a time, I had a friend who would look up this one girl on social media with the sole intention of making fun of what she had going on in her life. It was a difficult situation, they had been friends for a super long time and it had ended roughly. Obviously my friend at the time didn’t take the ending too well. When the girl blocked her on her personal account she started making fake ones, all with the sole purpose to be able to keep tabs on her. 

I would get screen shots at random points making fun of Instagram pictures and captions. Snarky remarks at lifetime achievements or posts on Tumblr. At first I would laugh with her. The girl and I were never really friends, but we did have some rough patches so I would be like, ‘What the heck… I’ll join in on the laughter’. 

About Your Shadow Self

Okay this is going to be a super Scorpio thing to say but I have a deep fascination with the darker side of humanity. 

I don’t mean what causes people to go all Jeffrey Dahmer (although maybe his Shadow Self did take over). But I mean, what is someone’s darkest desires and motivations? What is that thought or instinct that they would rather die than let anyone know? 

So when I first came across the term Shadow Self in my self discovery journey (ugh I love that it sounds like a Marvel character) you best bet I started researching the hell out of it. Literally any video I could watch or any novel I could get my hands on, I consumed it. 

The Shadow Self goes deeper than the dark traits you can name off the top of your head and talk about with another human. When we’re being integrated into society as children we take every piece of information given and put it into two boxes. Either something that is socially acceptable and therefore should be integrated into our personality or something that should be rejected and tamed. If it’s something that’s being rejected we tuck it away, telling ourselves it doesn’t belong in our conscious state. But it’s not like there's a delete button for your traits - it's still a part of you, it’s still facets of your personality. So then it hibernates, silently, in the back of the mind. Growing a little more every you reject more pieces of yourself that don’t line up with society's morals. 

How to Get Into Alignment

So for me, a lot of the disconnect I experienced in 2018 that resulted in my depression was because I wasn’t aligned with my true self. I find myself wondering a lot if I was aligned previous to the triggering situations but I can never determine a clear answer. To be honest, I don’t think I was. But there was a little bit of time near the end of 2017 when I really believe that I was in alignment, which is why when I fell in 2018 I fell hard.

When I happened across LOA and by extension the teachings of Abraham and Esther Hicks I realized that what had happened was yes, I was aligned… but it was so situational that it was extremely easy to lose. So when I inevitably did lose it, I lost myself as well. Which also makes sense as to why I was so drawn to watch the I Knew You Were Trouble music video so many times but I digress… 

So the reason why we fall into a depression or even just a bit of unhappiness is because we know we should be aligned with this version of ourselves that feels so good to be. We know it exists because we’ve felt it. The version of ourselves that’s happy and shines and radiates nothing but love. When there’s a disconnect we’re desperate to get it back, which by LOA makes it even more difficult to obtain because we’re then so focused on the lack of something. 

When I was looking up ways to get back into Alignment last summer I started readjusting my routine to break my obsessive thoughts and become the best version of myself I could possibly be.

Practice Self-Love

When I say practice self-love, I mean practice it in a way that you have never practiced it before. Like honestly, fall head over heels in love with yourself. If you’ve ever been in a relationship where you were giving your partner all of you with no questions asked; all the patience, love, and guidance they needed at any time of the day they needed it—use that approach to how you’re going to be with yourself.