So for me, a lot of the disconnect I experienced in 2018 that resulted in my depression was because I wasn’t aligned with my true self. I find myself wondering a lot if I was aligned previous to the triggering situations but I can never determine a clear answer. To be honest, I don’t think I was. But there was a little bit of time near the end of 2017 when I really believe that I was in alignment, which is why when I fell in 2018 I fell hard.
When I happened across LOA and by extension the teachings of Abraham and Esther Hicks I realized that what had happened was yes, I was aligned… but it was so situational that it was extremely easy to lose. So when I inevitably did lose it, I lost myself as well. Which also makes sense as to why I was so drawn to watch the I Knew You Were Trouble music video so many times but I digress…
So the reason why we fall into a depression or even just a bit of unhappiness is because we know we should be aligned with this version of ourselves that feels so good to be. We know it exists because we’ve felt it. The version of ourselves that’s happy and shines and radiates nothing but love. When there’s a disconnect we’re desperate to get it back, which by LOA makes it even more difficult to obtain because we’re then so focused on the lack of something.
When I was looking up ways to get back into Alignment last summer I started readjusting my routine to break my obsessive thoughts and become the best version of myself I could possibly be.
Practice Self-Love
When I say practice self-love, I mean practice it in a way that you have never practiced it before. Like honestly, fall head over heels in love with yourself. If you’ve ever been in a relationship where you were giving your partner all of you with no questions asked; all the patience, love, and guidance they needed at any time of the day they needed it—use that approach to how you’re going to be with yourself.
Be patient with yourself. If you’re having a low moment tell yourself it’s okay to feel sad and it’s okay to cry. Think of ways to make yourself happy. Read a book that you’ve always wanted to; go to the movies with yourself; treat yourself to take out from your favorite restaurant. Get your nails done or a new haircut that makes you feel beautiful. But go beyond the physical.
Sit with yourself and really get to know yourself. I got really into meditation and yoga during this time of self-exploration. Now one of my favorite things to do when I’m feeling overwhelmed is to burn some sage and meditate. At first it was really uncomfortable to sit with just my mind for that long of periods—I didn’t like where it was going and what I was thinking. Starting with some breathing exercises is really helpful if you really need to just quiet your thoughts so you can control what you want to focus on during different sessions. But the more you do it the more you can get to know different aspects of yourself and heal past wounds.
I found out a lot about myself and continue to find out a lot about myself every day. When you’re approaching the world through a lens of self-love, you’re going to find that the actions of others don’t affect you the way that they used to. You learn to stop taking everything so personally and just accept the fact that we’re all on our own journeys. You also learn how to say no and keep your distance from people who have a tendency to take love from you without giving any back. Your standards rise and you know what you deserve.
The first place you should look at fixing is your mind. I also hate the term fixing because it’s not like it was broken it just needs more attention from you. You can project whatever you want to the outside world but if you’re still a wreck and unstable on the inside nothing is actually going to change.
The only journey you can control is yours. The first person you should be pouring out unconditional love for is you.
Be Grateful
It helps to write it down. I got a bullet journal and wrote down every single thing that I was grateful for. At first it was just general lists but then I would make pages for the month and just write down the moments as they came.
The trick is to only write down what you’re actually grateful for. As you write what you’re happy about more happy things are going to find you like a magnet. But that can only happen if your truthful about the things you love.
This was actually when I saw the most change in my day to day living. There’s something about writing it down that just makes more things flow naturally to you. You’re letting the universe know that that specific thing makes you feel good, so the universe then does its job and sends you more things similar to it.
If you’re grateful for a moment as your living it take a moment to say it out loud. Tell your friends your grateful for them. Tell your parents. Your dog. Be grateful for your job. For your food. That you have a body that allows you to work out and live your life the way you want to.
When we’re stuck in a low moment it might seem like we have absolutely nothing to be grateful for. But that’s simply not true. There’s always something. And by focusing on that something, you’re attracting more positive things into your existence.
Accept Your True Feelings & Forgive Yourself
This is where the meditation really helps. For a lot of us, there’s a tendency to run from our true feelings or to sugar coat it to ourselves. For me, I group every negative emotion under one umbrella term which is annoyed. I will never say that I’m angry with someone—I’ll say I’m annoyed with them. I will never say I was hurt by a situation – I’ll say that I was annoyed by it.
The thing is, when you’re undermining your emotions you’re just drawing more of that negative emotion to you because you’re not actually dealing with it. There’s a lot of power in recognizing why you’re feeling the way that you’re feeling. Emotions are powerful and are a sign that we’re either on the right path or we’re not.
It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to be hurt. There isn’t a weakness in stating that you’re feeling those emotions. In fact, it’s a tool to help determine what changes need to be made.
The other part of this is to forgive yourself. For all your past mistakes, for the old haunts that come back at you in the night, everything that you didn’t get to say or even something that you did say but came out wrong. Something you did out of spite or something you said out of anger or jealousy. You need to forgive yourself. You’re not that person anymore and you know better now. So stop kicking yourself about it and allow yourself to let go and move on.
Odds are you’ve already punished yourself more than enough. At the end of the day we have the ability to be our own worst judge and critic.
Follow Your Joy
This is the fun part about realignment. Whatever sparks your interest—follow it. I found out that I really loved working out when I was getting realigned. If you would’ve told me that ten years ago I would’ve straight up laughed in your face. But as it turns out I really love weight lifting and going to body toning classes. Who knew?
Follow what makes you happy and don’t feel bad about it. Be unapologetically you. Odds are you’re going to find way more things that make you happy along the way, not to mention the new people that you’ll meet who make you feel happy.
If you’re filled with joy and happiness—you’re aligned. The most powerful alignment is one that comes from unconditional happiness and love within yourself. Make that your goal and start working.
Love,
A.
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