Relationships

Relationships are always a complicated thing. But they shouldn’t be. In a perfect world, no relationship would ever be complicated. Everything would be an exchange of positive energy for positive energy leaving both people feeling even more fulfilled and happy then they previously were. But it doesn’t always work like that. People are complicated. Emotions are complicated. Which makes relationships complicated.

I’ve started to define my relationships in a new way and it’s really helped me set boundaries for myself and the people in my life. Senses of self-worth and happiness are things that I’ve become extremely protective of. And honestly, if you’re not exchanging positivity for positivity then you’re not getting close to me. That’s that. 

There’s two pieces of every relationship that I’ve started to seriously consider when analyzing whether or not a person should be invested in. Part one is energy and part two is how they relate to the relationship I have with myself. 

This post is going to focus more on platonic and/or family relationships although it can be related to romantic if that’s how it resonates with you. 

You know, it’s a scientific fact that everything is made up of energy. Like, everything. The sky, the ground, the world, the universe—it’s all energy. Even your own heart and thoughts, yes the thoughts that you have in your head, give off an energetic frequency that can be physically measured. That’s why meditation practices and yoga are so beneficial because they change the type of frequencies you give off but anywaaaaay

The way I see it, we all have an energy bubble surrounding us that we give off. I mean, come on it’s a fact that we’re drawn to people that just have that look about them. You know what I’m talking about. They just have those positive vibes and make the world seem a like a brighter place. How many times have you been talking to someone and they just have that glow and you’re left with the impression that you need more? 

The truth is, when we’re aligned with our true self then it’s so positive it’s attracting everything positive back to us. Including positive people and relationships that challenge us to become and grow into the best person we can be. When we’re stuck in our own limiting beliefs or negative self-talk it has that same effect but instead of positive things attracting to us we attract more bad. Consequently, we attract people into our lives that are reaffirming those negative thoughts in our own head causing us to be stuck in a cycle that's nearly impossible to get out of. 

The reason why energy has been such a significant factor to how I approach relationships is because I've learned to work every single day to make my own energy as close to pure positivity as I possibly can. And after doing all of that introspection work, which is completely exhausting to tell you the truth, the type of energy that I allow into my life needs to be compatible with that so it's not a threat to my own well being.

Because the thing is, when you redefine your limiting beliefs so that they’re no longer limiting, you become limitless. 

And that’s not to say that people who are going through it aren’t worth a friendship or time. It’s more the thought process of 'Is what you’re investing your time and energy into matching what I want to invest my time and energy into?' Do your goals and dreams in life match my goals and dreams in life? Is a relationship with you going to inspire me and help me grow or is it going to lead me away from my true self and cause me to go down a road that I don’t want to be on? 

This leads me to part two. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that every single relationship an individual has is a reflection with the relationship that they have with themselves. Again, when I say relationship I don’t just mean romantic. How you interact with someone outside of yourself is a reflection of how you view yourself. 

If you willingly put yourself with people who don’t respect themselves then what does that say about you?

Likewise, if you surround yourself with those who have dreams and ambitions and are making moves to accomplish that, what does that say about your ambition? 

There’s a saying that goes your vibe attracts your tribe. If you’re constantly thinking lowly of yourself and in a negative space then take a look at what’s going on inside your head and really look at the people around you. Really look at them. It's proven that your personality is a conjunction of the five people you spend the most time with. So what is it saying about you? What qualities do they have that you mirror or admire? What qualities trigger jealousy or hatred? What about love? 

There’s a reason why everyone’s always like, “You need to learn how to love yourself before you can love someone else.” It’s because it’s true. You need to be full and happy with the relationship you have with yourself before you start attracting the right types of people into your life. 

So I guess this leads me to the question of how do you know if someone should be let go from your life? To be honest, you'll feel it. When someone isn't on your vibration you'll feel the disconnect. You might be hanging out with someone who was your best friend a year ago but it just feels off now. You feel like you can't relate to each other as well as what it once was. You leave the situation feeling unfulfilled or even exhausted. There's a disconnect with where they're at in their life and where you are in yours.

This becomes difficult though when you're overly attached to the memories or emotions that they've shared with you. Don't get caught up in the past though... you're not there anymore. The only time it will be painful for someone to leave your life is if you're too busy fighting for what was instead of accepting what is. Move on from the relationship and realize that you're at a different frequency. This can be scary, but you have to remember that if you don't let go of that person you're never going to find the people that are at your level. To be real, you need them a lot more then you want the person from your past.

And who knows... maybe down the road you'll get on the same vibration again but it's not something you should bank on. My favorite affirmation (when it comes to material items or even people) is what's meant to be mine will be mine regardless. If something feels difficult and forced then let it go. Allow what's meant to be yours to come to you naturally. And live in the beauty and happiness of having everything you could ever need or want right now.

You should always love yourself more than you love another person. And yeah, it might be painful to acknowledge the disconnect and move on from it, but you’ll heal. And know that you really haven’t lost anything. Love, especially unconditional love, is never ever lost. The love you give out will always find a way back to you. If not in that person then in someone even better. Trust me on this. 

Love,
A.