Dear 2016

Everyone jokes that 2016 was a horrible year and in some respects, it was.

For me, 2016 was a year that started off with moments I can only describe as make or break moments. The moments that made me pause, take a breather and regroup.

I always find that it is in these moments where the most personal growth happens. You learn things about yourself that you didn’t before. You learn how to pour your energies into activities and school work so you don’t get caught up in your own mind. You also learn that it’s okay to take a moment to feel your emotions completely on the days when the distractions just aren’t cutting it. You learn which friends take the time to understand what’s going on and which ones leave. Which you also discover is an alright thing, because if they didn’t care enough to ask what was up then they probably shouldn’t be there in the first place.

For me, 2016 was learning how to be independent while still being connected. It was the first time I lived in my own apartment and learning how to function in that space instead of becoming lost in it is a set of skills I’m proud of. I also learned ways to make myself happy. And by no means am I saying that I suddenly have the all-knowing answer to that existential question of happiness but I feel like I’ve made progress from where I was a year or even 3 years ago.

From the media and the world, I learned that compassion goes a long way. Humanity isn’t perfect and we never will be but there is so much that can be changed by changing the way you lead your own life. Making yourself a little kinder and warmer in a cold world is never a bad thing.

The New Year is always built up as this grand opportunity for a huge change. But I’ve found that change doesn’t happen as quickly as the 60 seconds it takes for the clock to turn, it happens day by day sometimes even month by month.

Thank you 2016 for teaching me about strength and independence. Thank you for lessons on compassion and friendship. 2017 I look forward to getting to know you day by day and month by month.  I hope you look forward to getting to know me too.

Love,

A.

Let's Talk About It // StyleLikeU's I Am What's Underneath

For those who aren’t aware: I’m an avid YouTube viewer. I can literally lay in bed for hours upon hours and view dozens of videos without giving it a second thought. This past week I was doing just that when a recommended video came up on the side and caught my eye.

What really grabbed my attention for this particular video was that in the thumbnail it pictured actress Caitlin Stasey, who most known for her role as Kenna in the CW’s Reign. Caitlin is one of my favorite people to follow in Hollywood mostly because of her blunt realness.

Whenever I watch any interviews with her or go through her social media accounts I always see posts or comments on where she stands on a variety of issues. Regardless on the question of if I agree or disagree with her stances, I always hold people who aren’t afraid to freely speak their minds in extremely high respect. So needless to say, it took me less than a second to click on that video.

This specific video focused on Caitlin’s experience with gender inequality and trying to follow women's standards in Hollywood, but the undertones were centering in on a much bigger picture. Throughout the video, as she told her stories and reflected on events in her life, she was slowly removing one article of clothing after the other until finally she was just left in her underwear. I didn’t really understand what was the point of having the person being interviewed strip down but the more videos I watched the clearer it became.  

Handling Scandals with Judy Smith

It seems that almost everyone around me is in love with ABC’s show Scandal. Of course, this is nothing new. The television show receives about 8 to 10 million viewers every Thursday night and is one of the biggest success stories to ever happen to prime time TV since it’s original launch in 2012. Most people know the show’s heroine: Olivia Pope, played by Kerry Washington, like the back of their hand. However, the actual real life hero who inspired the fictional character is one that they might not be as familiar with. 

I had the opportunity to see the real life O.P., Judy Smith, give a seminar at Miami University this past week and to say that I left impressed and inspired would be an understatement.

Before I start on the story I want to introduce you guys to a mindset. This outlook is called the elephant mindset. As I explain some of the key details to Ms. Smith’s conference, try to look at the big picture. I find that when you look at life through this lens you may find stories and lessons become way more relatable to your own situations in life and you just might even learn a few things.  

Judy Smith says that she started her professional path as a crisis manager when she was 11. Her local playground was being shut down due to lack of funds and Smith decided that the solution to this problem was to travel downtown and lead a protest of sixth graders. When reflecting on this moment later in life she was told by one of her oldest friends that that was the moment when she knew Smith was legit. She had given her first press conference before she could even ride public transportation by herself.

From there on, she always pushed herself, graduating from Boston University with an undergraduate degree in Public Relations and continuing on to American University where she earned a law degree from the Washington College of Law during the night while she worked days. She was completely set to start work in New York City when suddenly her life took a different route. This route took her to earning the title as Deputy Director of Public Information and Associate Counsel in the Office of the Independent Counsel. A position she earned by simply being herself and, most importantly, always being truthful.

“I was on one path and in a matter of two days my life changed,” Smith said about this time in her life.

From there Smith continued to advance until she ultimately earned a job in the White House on March 7, 1991 as Special Assistant and Deputy Press Secretary to President George H. W. Bush. Even though this is without a doubt the highest profile job Smith has held, her talents as a crisis manager shined through as she started Smith & Company, a consulting firm specializing in crisis management and media relations.

But even after hearing all of this, the piece of Smith’s story that captivated me the most was the fact that she was so self reliant. Throughout her entire life she has been so sure of herself, even when she could have been completely the opposite. As she was exploring topics regarding leadership this is what she had to say: “Make sure you are very clear about who you are and where you stand. Values, honesty, integrity… define this early on.”

Young adults always find themselves in the process of trying to define who they are while simultaneously molding themselves to meet the expectations of those around them. But instead of giving themselves a professional edge by attempting to jump through hoops they just end up becoming hindered. Instead of trying to be something you’re not Smith proposes this radical idea: Be who you are. “I am who I am,” Smith said, “I realize that not everyone may like that but I have always been true to myself and that’s more than enough.”

At the end of the day you need to realize that you’re where you are in life because of a reason. You’re not going to find that reason by constantly comparing yourself to others or letting the pressures and labels of society eat you alive. So take control of your life. Outline your dreams and goals. Define your boundaries. Give yourself personal time.

But also don’t be afraid to mess up. You’re probably going to experience a couple of personal crises along the way. To that Smith has these tips: Always tell the truth, know what the facts are, own your mistakes, and, most importantly, you have to lead. Don’t be afraid to make tough decisions, and don’t be ignorant enough to think that everyone is going to agree with the decisions you make. But, and here’s what we forget, not everyone is supposed to agree with our decisions. If you know the facts and you center yourself around the truth, then the decisions you make are going to be made in complete clarity. If you can ultimately stand by your choices, then other people’s approval really isn’t needed.

So Olivia Pope may be Hollywood’s world renown crisis manager that leads an unbelievably drama filled life, but Judy Smith is America’s own success story and model for women and men everywhere. She embodies what is possible when you push yourself to achieve your ultimate goals and you don’t belittle yourself.

And remember when in doubt, “It’s handeled” – Olivia Pope.