About Your Shadow Self

Okay this is going to be a super Scorpio thing to say but I have a deep fascination with the darker side of humanity. 

I don’t mean what causes people to go all Jeffrey Dahmer (although maybe his Shadow Self did take over). But I mean, what is someone’s darkest desires and motivations? What is that thought or instinct that they would rather die than let anyone know? 

So when I first came across the term Shadow Self in my self discovery journey (ugh I love that it sounds like a Marvel character) you best bet I started researching the hell out of it. Literally any video I could watch or any novel I could get my hands on, I consumed it. 

The Shadow Self goes deeper than the dark traits you can name off the top of your head and talk about with another human. When we’re being integrated into society as children we take every piece of information given and put it into two boxes. Either something that is socially acceptable and therefore should be integrated into our personality or something that should be rejected and tamed. If it’s something that’s being rejected we tuck it away, telling ourselves it doesn’t belong in our conscious state. But it’s not like there's a delete button for your traits - it's still a part of you, it’s still facets of your personality. So then it hibernates, silently, in the back of the mind. Growing a little more every you reject more pieces of yourself that don’t line up with society's morals. 

Astrology // Scorpio & Virgo

The relationship between Scorpio and Virgo is one that genuinely really interests me. Upon first glace there really isn’t too much common ground between them. The architype of Scorpio is one of intense mystery and sexual passion. Virgo on the other hand has the nickname of the Virgin, possessing more practical and analytical traits. So how are these two signs, which are super opposite from the outside actually so similar? 

Breaking it down, here's more information. Scorpio is a fixed water sign, ruled by Mars and Pluto - meaning this sign is extremely stubborn, emotional and filled with underlining passion. Virgo is a mutable earth sign, with the ruling planet of Mercury - meaning they're grounded and thrive in more communication and analytical situations. Even more opposite to the outside viewer.

You may or may not know this, but in ancient astrology Scorpio and Virgo used to be the same sign. There's even a hint at this in their glyph symbols. Both have the same 'M' base but Scorpio's tale is an erect arrow hinting at the sexual nature and transfer of energy outward. Virgo's tale is folded in - symbolizing purity and introspection. Two sides of the same coin. There's even further proof of this equality by the sign of Libra which lives between the two to literally equal them out. 

       

Virgo, Libra and Scorpio Glyphs

How to Get Into Alignment

So for me, a lot of the disconnect I experienced in 2018 that resulted in my depression was because I wasn’t aligned with my true self. I find myself wondering a lot if I was aligned previous to the triggering situations but I can never determine a clear answer. To be honest, I don’t think I was. But there was a little bit of time near the end of 2017 when I really believe that I was in alignment, which is why when I fell in 2018 I fell hard.

When I happened across LOA and by extension the teachings of Abraham and Esther Hicks I realized that what had happened was yes, I was aligned… but it was so situational that it was extremely easy to lose. So when I inevitably did lose it, I lost myself as well. Which also makes sense as to why I was so drawn to watch the I Knew You Were Trouble music video so many times but I digress… 

So the reason why we fall into a depression or even just a bit of unhappiness is because we know we should be aligned with this version of ourselves that feels so good to be. We know it exists because we’ve felt it. The version of ourselves that’s happy and shines and radiates nothing but love. When there’s a disconnect we’re desperate to get it back, which by LOA makes it even more difficult to obtain because we’re then so focused on the lack of something. 

When I was looking up ways to get back into Alignment last summer I started readjusting my routine to break my obsessive thoughts and become the best version of myself I could possibly be.

Practice Self-Love

When I say practice self-love, I mean practice it in a way that you have never practiced it before. Like honestly, fall head over heels in love with yourself. If you’ve ever been in a relationship where you were giving your partner all of you with no questions asked; all the patience, love, and guidance they needed at any time of the day they needed it—use that approach to how you’re going to be with yourself. 

Relationships

Relationships are always a complicated thing. But they shouldn’t be. In a perfect world, no relationship would ever be complicated. Everything would be an exchange of positive energy for positive energy leaving both people feeling even more fulfilled and happy then they previously were. But it doesn’t always work like that. People are complicated. Emotions are complicated. Which makes relationships complicated.

I’ve started to define my relationships in a new way and it’s really helped me set boundaries for myself and the people in my life. Senses of self-worth and happiness are things that I’ve become extremely protective of. And honestly, if you’re not exchanging positivity for positivity then you’re not getting close to me. That’s that. 

There’s two pieces of every relationship that I’ve started to seriously consider when analyzing whether or not a person should be invested in. Part one is energy and part two is how they relate to the relationship I have with myself. 

This post is going to focus more on platonic and/or family relationships although it can be related to romantic if that’s how it resonates with you. 

You know, it’s a scientific fact that everything is made up of energy. Like, everything. The sky, the ground, the world, the universe—it’s all energy. Even your own heart and thoughts, yes the thoughts that you have in your head, give off an energetic frequency that can be physically measured. That’s why meditation practices and yoga are so beneficial because they change the type of frequencies you give off but anywaaaaay

The way I see it, we all have an energy bubble surrounding us that we give off. I mean, come on it’s a fact that we’re drawn to people that just have that look about them. You know what I’m talking about. They just have those positive vibes and make the world seem a like a brighter place. How many times have you been talking to someone and they just have that glow and you’re left with the impression that you need more? 

The truth is, when we’re aligned with our true self then it’s so positive it’s attracting everything positive back to us. Including positive people and relationships that challenge us to become and grow into the best person we can be. When we’re stuck in our own limiting beliefs or negative self-talk it has that same effect but instead of positive things attracting to us we attract more bad. Consequently, we attract people into our lives that are reaffirming those negative thoughts in our own head causing us to be stuck in a cycle that's nearly impossible to get out of.