Happiness

I'm gonna start this post by stating that I really don't like the song Happier by Bastille. There's no reason for my dislike of this song other than the fact that it was stuck in my head for the entire duration of me writing and editing this post. So that's all.

Moving on...

Here’s a question that I’ve found myself thinking about for the last couple of years: What does it mean to be happy? 

Here are some other questions that normally follow. 

What makes me happy? Who makes me happy? Who’s job is it to make me happy? Is it my best friends duty? Is it my boyfriends? My family? If I only find happiness when I’m around a select few, is that even real happiness? Is it selfish of me to want others to value my own happiness when they make a decision? Does that mean I don’t value my own happiness, since I’m pushing that job onto someone else? Do I make myself happy? Is there a difference between sober happiness and the happiness that comes when my mind is clouded by whichever substance? Which is real? Or are they both real? Is genuine, prolonged happiness even something that’s obtainable? Will I forever be stuck in quick moments of happiness—thinking back on them when I’m going through the longer moments of mediocrity?

The funny thing is, I sincerely do not know the answers to any of those questions which is probably why I find them going round and round in my head so often. But I guess despite that, despite all the uncertainty… for some reason I’ve truly never been happier in my life than I am right now.